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| title | chunk | source | category | tags | date_saved | instance |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Expectancy violations theory | 5/17 | https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Expectancy_violations_theory | reference | science, encyclopedia | 2026-05-05T10:06:53.972000+00:00 | kb-cron |
==== Friendship ==== Expectations with friends formulate over time and are usually brought together by a series of observations of behavior and predictions on how that friend will act in the future. When these expectations are violated, it often can be damaging and dangerous for a close friendship. It can cause an end to the friendship and create a strong negative experience in that person's life. Over time, people might expect friends to act consistently around them until a violation to this expectation takes place. For example, when they begin "breaking promises or even acting in an inauthentic manner to impress others, can have aversive consequences for close relationships" (Cohen 2010). People expect their friends to act in a social manner and adhere to all of our personal rules they set in their minds, such as being nice, kind, considerate, and refraining from any comment that puts another down. This is a part of the personal rules with a personal friendship, though in a different setting with that individual around different people, the rules may be broken. While this might be an offense in one's eyes, it may not be offensive in the others. Each negative experience can deteriorate the relationship and allow more experiences where expectations are continually violated until the relationship is dissolved. Cohen said "the more that a friendship is voluntary, easily replaceable, and disconnected from external pressures to continue, the more vulnerable it is to expectancy violation damage" (Cohen, 2010). Someone will always look for the better option if a negative experience has taken place. The more invested someone is in a friendship, the stronger the effect will have on the individual when expectations are violated. Gender also plays a role in expectancy violation. Friendships with members of the same sex usually operate differently than those between different sexes. Women are generally less tolerant with men when violations have taken place. Relationships, whether it be with the same sex or not, tend to fail over time when one or both parties do not adhere the norms that the other is accustomed to and engage in behaviours such as hostile attitudes, sharp comments, distancing from the other, etc. Both parties are also capable of violating each other's expectations at the same time. It is not just one person in the relationship that perceives behavior as unusual. One can respond to a violation with another social violation, leaving the friendship in confusion of the direction it is going. One study done in 2025 says that people are quick to put blame on the physical world if people are unalike from themselves. This comes from the fact that if someone has not had the same experiences as you, they will not expect the same things as you.
==== Family relationships: phubbing ==== Expectations in family relationships are prone to being violated via phubbing. Phubbing is a term coined to describe when an individual goes on their phone and mentally removes themselves from the conversation and physical reality, thus snubbing their interaction partners. This violates expectations in family relationships when a younger individual is around an older adult. Travis Kadylak found that "older adults feel ignored and disrespected" in situations where a younger family member is phubbing. In this case, the younger individually and unconsciously violated the older adult's expectations that stems from the adult's perception of social etiquette. Kadylak calls for further research on how phubbing expectancy violations affect the well-being of older adults. When it comes to smartphone use in conversations overall, researchers found that proactive and reactive smartphone use, often use that interrupts the conversation, leaves to lower perceived attentiveness and politeness from the conversational partner due to their expectations of a direct conversation being violated. Whereas integrative smartphone use, when the smartphone becomes a part of the conversation, leaves no significant impact on the perception of the conversation. In 2025, a study examining phubbing behaviors during casual and serious conversations was conducted. Seeing phubbing behavior did not relate to the perception of poor conversation quality. However, when observing phubbing behavior, female participants perceived lower conversation quality between the conversation partners compared to male participants. It is more common to observe two men spending time together and using their phones to decrease immediacy, rather than a woman. Perceived poor conversation quality was also associated with lower perceived connectedness between the conversation partners, as well as with lower perceptions of appropriateness toward the interlocutor who was phubbing. Additionally, another research project titled "I Have to Become a Phubber": A Case Study of a Female College Counselor's Phubbing at Home was conducted. The study found that during face-to-face conversations, constantly checking smartphones without responding in time leads to inconsistent expectations. Phubbing also tends to create more conflicts between the phubber and the person being phubbed. When another person's behavior is inconsistent with an individual's expectations, this expectancy violation triggers awareness and prompts a series of cognitive evaluations of the violation. If the violation conflicts with the individual's psychological valence, the expectancy violation can damage the interpersonal interaction. A study examining expectancy violations in text-based communication found that expectations vary considerably in extended families. Expectations are flexible in extended families, and transmitting messages at inappropriate times may breach these expectations. In addition, anticipating empathy and support when interacting with close friends leads to timely and empathetic responses that confirm favorable expectations.
==== Romantic relationships ====